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The Fence Walk of Death By Pointy Teeth

The way the blocks in this estate are arranged, my back fence borders two back yards. There are dogs in these yards, a blue cattledog and a boarder collie. Where the three corners meet there is a tiny hole where Scruffy and the other two gather to exchange smells and other doggy things. The neighbour on the right has a minature poodle but it's half Scruffy's size doesn't count as a dog.

My neighbour on the left owns a cat, and in the house on the corner between the cattledog and poodle lives another cat, a big, hairy black thing.

The black cat uses the top of the color-bond fence as a path. It travels with impunity. It trots its way between the poodle and cattledog, then between cattledog and Scruffy, then pauses for a moment between Scruffy, cattledog and collie before continuing between Scruffy and the collie. The dogs, of course, go berserk, leaping and biting at the cat just above their heads, or, in Scruffy's case, many feet above his head.

Yesterday the collie owner bought his kids a trampoline and placed it near the back fence.

This morning I watched the cat walk the circuit. Just as it paused at the 3-way I heard a curious boingy-pattering, and the cat flattened out and prepared to run. The collie appeared above the top of the fence, soaring through the air, mouth open in a huge grin. I suspect he'd used the trampoline as a runway to launch himself at the cat.

Collie t-boned the cat on the fence and the pair tumbled into the cattledog yard. Much barking ensued. After a second there was a loud bang on the aluminium fence and the cat appeared at the top, covered with leaves and looking rather dishevelled I must say. It continued over the fence and into my yard.

I think that for a moment Scruffy thought he would actually catch the cat. The thing about perspective is that as things get closer they look bigger. Scruffy saw the rapidly expanding cat heading his way, so he ran away. The cat hit the ground with a thud. The silky terrier half of Scruffy's ancestry must have finally over-ridden his maltese terrier half. He turned and attacked. The cat may have been discouraged about this turn of events and being attacked by an animal half its size must have been the last straw. It ran, leaping over another fence to escape.

And landed in the poodle's yard.

There was much yipping and the sound of something in the fishpond, followed by the soggy bang of a wet animal leaping over an aluminium fence. Followed by a brief burst of barking and scuffling in the cattledog's yard and yet another fence leap.

How is a bloke supposed to do univerity studies when he's pissing himself laughing?



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