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The worst visitor you can have in an office is a small child. I had one this morning. The Incessant chatter, the tapping on the shoulders and "What's this?" the noise while I'm on the phone.

I got sick of it real fast.

"What's in here?"

Paper.

"What's in here?"

Fax paper

"What's in this?"

Then opening every drawer and cupboard and leaving them open. I'd had enough.

"Don't open that cupboard!" I said. "The Yish lives in there."

"What's a Yish?"

"The Yish," I said. What I needed right at that moment was the room to go dark and a flashlight to shine from below "-has cold clammy hands. And it reaches out and touches you on the neck. And you go 'yeesh!'"

He quietened down for a while.

Half an hour later I was in the store, looking for a pipe connector in the locker. The door was opened and hid me from the store room doorway. Through a crack I saw the kid pause in the doorway, looking at the open door. He couldn't see me. I picked up a length to pvc pipe and growled into it. "YIIIIIIIISH!"

the running footsteps and the dopplered WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! made me realise that I had just introdued a new bogieman into some kid's nightmares.

And I feel good about that.


"Beware Of The Yish

When you visit someone don't mess with the space
Or leave your toys lying all over the place
Don't go into places where you shouldn't be
A big scary monster lurks in there y'see.

He hide inside drawers , and doors you might sneak in
Leaves cold icky slime wherever he's been
On your head and your hand it'll plop and "oh, ish!"
So mind Uncle Den or you might meet The Yish.

If you hear his voice, kiddo, you'd better run
Explosives won't hurt him, neither will a gun
You can tell that he's near if you smell rotten fish
Or anything else that would make you say "Yish!"

The Yish has giant fangs and wide rolling eyes
And likes to grab bad little kids by surprise!
He has 12 billion tenticle things that go squish
f it feels cold and nasty you can bet it's The Yish!

So when you are visiting Rellies, behave
I know that it's hard - by try to be brave
'Cause They Yish devours children he catches y'see
Leaves a big smelly spot where the kid used to be!
For a nastier end a small child wouldn't wish.
So be a good kid and you won't meet The Yish."

By Weyrdbird



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